Some significant reasons have been that I was facing a bit of a financial dilemma and was exploring other avenues for income. This website has not yet produced that for me and it has been a labor of love. Love doesn’t pay the bills so I got a temp job with the US Census for about two months to help supplement my regular income. It was interesting work, but just as I was pulling in an extra paycheck to help out with my expenses it seemed that every week an new expense would pop up – a traffic ticket, vet bills, increased doctor bills, etc.

On top of working 60+ hours a week on a crazy schedule I also started modeling. I put some time towards building a web portfolio and the trading of services – modeling for copies of images to build up my portfolio to present to agencies. I think I have made some great connections and have begun to establish myself as a good model to work with.

Given all of the time I was working and the stress involved with everything that was falling on my shoulders I started having some physical health issues that resulted in a recent laparoscopic surgery. I’ve been recovering well and have a follow up appointment soon to find out the final results. It doesn’t seem to be anything serious at this point, only an issue that was causing some discomfort that was not improving.

Finally, to improve my professional career rather than work myself to death having more than one job and also to give me more knowledge in the area of using networking and building websites that I have come to really enjoy, I decided to return to school for a graduate degree. I have just completed my first course towards getting my online MFA degree in Media Design from a school that seems to be as highly regarded in the academic art world as my undergraduate schooling.

So as I continue to learn, you should be seeing plenty of changes here. Some will be visual in terms of layout and imagery for the site. Some will be technical in terms of using the best practices for writing and forming my blog pages.

As for me and my stress levels, I’m doing much better. I faced some fears and made some decisions about how to handle my situation that will bring much relief. Everything seems to be falling into place and I am enjoying my life again after a period of time where I found it very hard to stay positive. I guess sometimes we have to hit the bottom to know which way is up.

It happened when I decided to create another website that has been generating all kinds of traffic. Also, I’ve experienced a slow writing period here over the past few months as I have concentrated more on getting my life in order. In doing so I have been facing some of my biggest fears. While recognizing the fear and dealing with the challenge to overcome it I have also been looking for the lesson to be learned and the opportunities that I know are evolving out of this experience. As I have dealt with my life and not been writing much lately I am still seeing a small and steady traffic flow on this site.

One of the opportunities that has evolved is that I have started modeling after having an interest in it long ago as a teenager. I was told then by someone in the industry that I did not have the height to really be a successful model and I believed it. I was näive and lacked self-confidence as a teenager and young adult. I was easily influenced when making decisions about my future because I believed some of the garbage that older, “more experienced” adults fed me.

Secretly, I always fantasized to be a Victoria’s Secret model. I like wearing nice lingerie and feeling sexy in it. I do love the attention that I get from men even though I struggle with the kind of attention that I get. This has been an ongoing problem for me in my relationships too. My challenge is to find a man that I am interested in, has a returned interest in me, and it not be solely for sex.

I have had some serious relationships. Some good, some bad. The majority of them have been short term. It seems that I am not the girl of their dreams, their “it” girl. You know the one. He can’t stop thinking about how soft her skin is when she is not there or she has that special spark that he’s never felt with another woman. Even though I was once considered as being close, there was something in our relationship that was missing for him. Likewise, I have had a few relationships that I have felt the same about them – close but not quite right.

Before I deviate too far from my original point about how sex sells, let’s get back to the modeling – last week I posted the new website to create an online portfolio for my modeling experience. It is not even complete yet, but I decided to announce it anyway. On the first day there were well over twice as many hits on the site than any one day at my busiest here on this site that has been up and running for over a year. On the third day I had over six times as many hits.

The site statistics are funny too. I have all of the pages laid out the way I want them. I still need to fill in content, add pictures, and format the design to get the look I want. I have a small amount of content on most of the pages to describe what is going on or planned for the page. On some of them I have a picture to represent the category of modeling I am including in my experience. Of course the single page with the highest amount of traffic is the one that features my Art Nude photos. It’s even password protected too so that only legitimate photographers and others in the modeling industry can view it. Then the next highest hit page is the one labeled as “Implied Nudes”. It descends in hits per page from there to Bikini, Body Painting, Lingerie, etc.

Now I realize very clearly that I have not been using one of my best assets – my looks – to get more of what I want in life. I accepted long ago that my apperance has likely played a big part in me getting my foot in the door for a job somewhere when I needed it. It has been my work ethic, performance, and pleasant personality that has kept me there. I have wanted to disprove the stereotype of beauty and brains not going together.

I have struggled with wanting to be recognized for who I am and how I perform vs. what I look like and what I do for a living. Being a model now or when I was working as crew on yachts is considered a glamourous lifestyle to many that not everyone can or will do. For me it’s not hard to do either one. It just took the realization that I can do it, some guts to decide to do it, and then the follow through on it. Both are a lot of fun and both involve hard work with dedication to be successful. Being a model provides me with more creativity and flexibility than when I worked on yachts. I can set my own schedule, go home at night to my own bed, and I am not stuck doing mundane chores such as cleaning toilets or ironing bedsheets.

I keep hearing about and meeting people who do what they love and the money follows. For them there is not a long day or week at work even though they may put in more hours than the average person who works 9-5 with some overtime or a second job. They love what they do so it never feels like work to them. They wake up every day looking forward to what they will accomplish because it’s not like going to a job where they are uninspired. I cannot say that I feel that way about my day job as an office manager even though I have decided to make a conscious effort to put more into it so that it feels more rewarding. It hasn’t really worked yet. Maybe because in the environment I am in no appreciation is ever shown, only displeasure when things go wrong. I love writing here and working on the new modeling portfolio site as I get inspired and I also enjoy having my picture taken as a model. So far I have really only had positive feedback and that is so much more rewarding.

Now I need to make the writing and modeling reward me financially in a way that I can one day “work” less at my job and enjoy my life more. It’s time to embrace that men want me for sex (even if it is just for visual gratification) and be okay with that so I do not hold myself back from being successful as a model. I also need to stay focused on writing about life and things that inspire me to feed my nurturing side that wants to help people get through some of the challenges that I may have already faced or the joy I feel when I see my friends becoming a success already doing what they love.

On the subject of sex I can see that it will win over anything else that may be published here. No, I’m not going to start writing about sex. My friend is already working on that. As soon as she is ready I will help promote the launch of her new site. My focus for modeling is going to be on making images that embrace beauty and sexuality without being pornographic or erotic. Something that is aesthetically pleasing to me and perhaps tells a story about my life.

Everything is not mapped out yet for the changes I want to make and I need to complete the other site first. I just wanted to update everyone that I am writing again after a lull for a few months while I’ve taken care of personal business. As soon as everything is presentable on the other site I will begin working again here, making things more niche specific and less random.

View from Camden, ME mountain

I’ve not been writing much lately as I have been overwhelmed myself with getting into a situations that I have found difficult to navigate by myself.  It seems that there are several people that I have crossed paths with that are in similar situations going around and up their mountains.  As I try different routes to get around the obstacles before me I find out quickly that the chosen path will not work for me.  I’ve been fortunate enough to have people around me offering their words of encouragement or assistance in little ways to keep me from getting completely stuck.

I have to remind myself every now and then that, although it may not look like much progress is being made up my chain of mountains, I am gaining very valuable experience that will make things easier for me if I should ever face these particular challenges again or I will be able to help out someone else in the future by sharing my experiences.

When I consider the range of mountains I have challenged myself to climb in this lifetime I find that I have taken many detours and certainly have taken some trails that others never consider.  Taking the unusual routes may have set me up to miss what everyone else got to experience or it may have only delayed my journey for reaching the top of some of the mountains.  I do know that I have some interesting stories though and everyone else that went the usual route seems to enjoy the stories of my adventures because I was daring enough to try it and then tell them what they missed.

Hi Everyone!

I hope that everyone had a nice Thanksgiving dinner somewhere (if you are among those in the U.S. that celebrate it). If you’ve traveled to someplace this weekend, today is a very busy day on the road to return home and I wish you all safe travels.

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted up any information regarding updates to my website. I have written a few posts since my last update and a few of you have read them and commented already. If you did, you may have seen my frustration as I have been under some stress with my finances and at this time of year it has made things particularly even more worrisome. As I’ve talked to others regarding my situation I know that there are many people out there that are facing my same concerns.

In the spirit of this holiday weekend I want to take the time to recognize some of the blessings I do have in my life rather than focus on the challenge before me. Being thankful for the things we have helps keep your mind focused on the positive and that will continue to attract more positive things to you.

First and foremost I want to thank you. All of my friends and family that support my efforts by reading my really long stories ;) and those that have joined my group here on Facebook. With your support and encouragement I know that what I am doing is of value and it is worth continuing to write to make my website a success.

As I have continued to stay positive and ask for help when I need it, the opportunities continue to come my way. I’ve continued to make contacts with people that provide useful information for the things that I am learning, I’ve picked up some freelance work to help make some quick cash for the immediate needs, I’ve heard of situations that remind me that things could be a lot worse than they really are, and I’ve received an early Christmas present from a very dear friend that understands my pain and wanted to help.

She sent me a course by David Ramsey called Financial Peace. It’s several cd’s with materials for a system to help get your financial budget back on track (or in some people’s cases to the track). I have been listening for the past couple of days and really enjoy his fun speaking style which makes learning this valuable information easy. If you are in a relationship where finances are shared (like marriage) he gives some really sound advice to couples on how to deal with the family budget and how to save arguments about money which is one of the leading causes for divorce these days. If you or anyone you know is facing financial hardship right now and would like a game plan for getting your financial life together, I recommend checking David Ramsey’s course out. He speaks on public and satellite radio stations, is syndicated in several newspapers, his course is taught at many local churches and other venues, and there is an online program available too. This is a great gift for someone you love whether they are facing hardship or just starting out in life as a young adult. His site is currently showing a discount on some of the products that might only be available during the holidays.

You can find a link to his website at http://Studiodimare.com under the Business & Finance page of recommended links. Remember to explore my site as you are shopping during the holidays. Sometimes I have discount coupon codes available for a business or product that you may be shopping at or your using my links could just help me out by selecting my affiliates.

Thank you again for your support and may your holiday season be full of love, laughter, and abundance.

yours in peace,

Stephanie

I love reading inspirational stories and parables on self-improvement.  It’s one of the tricks I use to keep myself in an almost constant state of being in a positive mindset and to help get me out of any funky mood I might find myself in when faced with stressful situations.  On my Twitter account I have created a list of people that I follow who are often tweeting inspirational messages.  On my iGoogle homepage I have an application that gives me rotating inspirational quotes and in my RSS reader I follow several blogs devoted to self-improvement.  I also have great friends that forward on emails with wonderful stories.  Tonight I received a new one that I’ve not read before and I’d like to share it with you.

Ducks Quack  —   Eagles Soar

No one can make you serve customers well. That’s because great service is a choice.

Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.

He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport.  When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine.  Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey.

He handed my friend a laminated card and said, ‘I’m Wally, your driver.  While I’m loading your bags in the trunk I’d like you to read my mission statement.’

Taken aback, Harvey read the card.

It said:

Wally’s Mission Statement:
To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.

This blew Harvey away.  Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside.  Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, ‘Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.’

My friend said jokingly, ‘No, I’d prefer a soft drink.’

Wally smiled and said, ‘No problem.  I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.’

Almost stuttering, Harvey said, ‘I’ll take a Diet Coke.’

Handing him his drink, Wally said, ‘If you’d like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.’

As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, ‘These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you’d like to listen to the radio.’

And as if that weren’t enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him.

Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day.  He also let him know that he’d be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

‘Tell me, Wally,’ my amazed friend asked the driver, ‘have you always served  customers like this?’

Wally smiled into the rear view mirror.  ’No, not always.  In fact, it’s only been in the last two years.  My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do.  Then I heard on the radio one day that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad  day, you’ll rarely disappoint yourself.  He said, ‘Stop complaining!  Differentiate yourself from your competition.  Don’t be a duck.  Be an eagle.  Ducks quack and complain.  Eagles soar above the crowd.”

That hit me right between the eyes,’ said Wally.  ’That was really talking about me.  I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle.  I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers.  The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy.  So I decided to make some changes.  I put in a few at a time.  When my customers responded well, I did more.’

‘I take it that has paid off for you,’ Harvey said.

‘It sure has,’ Wally replied.  ’My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I’ll probably quadruple it.  You were lucky to get me today.  I don’t sit at cabstands anymore.  My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can’t pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.’

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab.  I’ve probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it.  Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call.  The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn’t do any of what I was suggesting.

Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice.  He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

How about us?

Smile, and the whole world smiles with you… The ball is in our hands!

Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar

Have a nice day, unless you have already made other plans.

I’m not much of a morning person. I’m not normally grumpy so much as groggy until I am fully awake. This morning shortly after I woke up I tweeted, “Still trying to figure out if it feels like a GOOD morning or not. Too tired to tell. So I’ll just decide it is & go make my latte.” I’m glad I decided to have a good day. There was not anything bad about it. I think tomorrow I’ll decide to have a great day.  :)

“Most folks are about as happy as
they make up their minds to be.”
- Abraham Lincoln

As my recent creativity surges have become more and more frequent (just when I am trying to learn other skills to put into practice to help my income) I keep getting pulled back to my blog, compelled to write.  I’ll work on a post for hours sometimes just to get out everything that I have to say about the subject I am writing on.  Maybe you’ve noticed the length of my blog posts!  ;)  I don’t want to leave anything out and I often do not notice the time.  Before long I have to stop myself so that I can get some sleep and be able to function because the next day is a workday and I have a tendancy to get migraines now from a lack of sleep.  I just can’t burn the candle at both ends like I used to in college.

I’ve been contemplating on what exactly I would write to constitute an entire book and knew that I would want to somehow tie in short stories of my adventures along with lessons that I have learned.  It needs to be something entertaining and educational.  So with the inspirational title that just came to me moments ago, which I will keep a secret until the book is complete, I now have a focus to tie everything I want to accomplish together for my first book ever.

I’ll be using content that I have already written about here because it is a story of my life and lessons learned and that is the format I have been using on this blog - personal accounts and perspectives tied into meaningful lessons I feel are of value to share.  As my readers you will continue to see what develops as I go along, however, I will keep some stories solely for the book.  So far, the majority of my readers are people that I know or have met personally and with your help I’ll be able to build a bigger audience to make my book and website a success.

Disclaimer to close family members and friends:
I will be sharing personal stories and it could include you.  If you do not wish your name to be used for any reason, please let me know and I will give you a pseudo-name to protect your privacy.  More than likely on all accounts I will not use last names.  For certain stories I will automatically use pseudo-names to “protect the innocent/guilty” depending on your viewpoint.  ;)

My Past – the Private Parts

I mentioned that I came from a family that did not have a lot of money.  I had all of the basics that I ever needed growing up – food, shelter, and medical care –  and a few luxuries here and there when times were good.  Still, I learned at a very young age to not ask for too much or else face the disappointment that came from being told no because we didn’t have the money.  I could see the stress it would cause my mother who was divorced from my dad when I was only five and, although she married again, she essentially was the breadwinner of the family and I consider her to have been a single parent raising me and one of my younger brothers from her second marriage.  Finances were always a struggle for her until after I was an adult on my own, making my own way.  Even so, her abundant times never lasted for very long after I was an adult.  I was more fortunate as a kid when spending summers at my dad’s with him,  my step-mom and other two brothers.  There seemed to be a little more abundance, at least more choices in the refrigerator and pantry, because of the stable two-income family they created.

As I grew up no one ever talked about money unless it was the lack of not having it.  I didn’t learn how to make it except by getting a good job and working hard.  If you were lucky to work for a good company you might get some benefits like health insurance, a retirement plan, and maybe a holiday bonus.  My dad always had his own construction business and he labored hard as he was well-respected and in demand for the quality work that he does.  However, being your own boss of a small business, you are paying for your own benefits, if you can afford it.  So I believe they may have relied on my step-mom’s job to provide for health and retirement benefits.  I really do not know as that sort of thing was never discussed.

Now that I am an adult and finally exploring all of the ways possible to get myself ahead of the rat race that works a typical M-F 9-5 job because I have learned that I have entrepreneurial skills and a desire to break out of the ordinary, I have learned that families who have more financial abundance do not seem to mind talking about money with other family members.  The children of those families often grow up learning the ways their parents taught about investing, saving, and getting ahead of all the other families that barely get by.  The skill these successful families has is communication.  They are not afraid or embarrassed to talk about making money because it is a skill that they have learned and it seems natural.   Just like when a momma cat teaches her kittens to hunt so they can survive.  Their communication usually does not have any negativity associated with the subject.  This eases the pressure that other families that are less fortunate may feel.  Without that negative association they are more open to discuss ideas about different ways to make money and less likely to face ridicule or negativity for suggesting something new because their mindset is different than those who do not have it.

I’m not sure if because of my location of growing up in the South I also learned that it was not polite to talk to other families or people about how much money one makes or if it was only because we didn’t have much money ourselves and it was something lower income families typically say.  I never asked or snooped to find out what men that I’ve dated were making.  I know that some have been very successful because they openly talk about it and I am fortunate to usually attract that now whenever I do find someone I am interested in and I do not assume that because they are well off that I will be taken care of or that I’ve found a sugar daddy.  I have had to rely on my own finances for so long and have never been offered to be taken care of unless it came with the price of compromising my personal beliefs, values, and self-respect.

This all of course has set me up to be in the situation that I now find myself which is having worked hard to get ahead, struggling to acquire as much as possible with only my own personal income, and because I dream of doing so much more than being average, I have made big investments in myself to unlearn all of the things that I was raised to believe which only would have kept me the level that my parents reached – I want more than that.  I’ve taken a big financial risk to try a new business on my own that I discovered was not my passion and came out of it at an overall current financial loss but not a failure because it eliminated something I would not have been satisfied with.  Now that I have discovered my passions – one of them I’ve discovered is writing here on this blog – and I am educating myself in another area I always had great interest but never pursued, I’ve reached way beyond the limit that my single income can keep up with.  This was my big fear – facing financial failure and risking my credit or worse, the possibility of losing the things I have worked so hard for up to this point.

Looking back to my past though, I already did lose everything once before.  There just wasn’t as much at stake back then because the only asset I had acquired at that point was a vehicle that was totaled when I did not have full coverage insurance.  I was still so close to the beginning of my adult life that it doesn’t make a big difference to me now when I think back and remember.  Soon after losing my vehicle I ended up living in a tent for three months when I decided to go back to college and until I could get into an apartment with two other roommates.  I was given a little boost when I decided to go back by step-dad #2 because he was an auto mechanic and had a cheap used car at his shop they gave me to get back on my feet.  It was later traded for another used car from his shop that was slightly more reliable and in a few years I traded it in for my first newer car purchase.

The Present – the Motivation

Now back to the question to myself, why share all of this with the public?  What do I have to gain by this?  Sympathy? That’s not what I’m after.  Charity?  No, I’m too stubborn to accept it unless I have no other choice and it comes from family where I believe it is typical to expect help.  I want to earn my way instead.  Support?  A-ha!  Now we are getting close.

It is my belief that by sharing the personal stories of my life that I might be able to help someone else gain different perspectives to consider or to inspire someone that has faced similar struggles they have not yet overcome.  As I go through the journey of my life I want to validate my credibility to everyone whether you doubted my capabilities or cheered and supported me all along.  By documenting my progress here on this blog, I am able to prove beyond a doubt that I am a real person, my stories are true from my perspective, and that when someone like me, given my current and past situations, makes it to the level of success that I desire to achieve – financial freedom – then, to myself more than anyone, I can validate my credibility to teach others the secrets that so many others have a hard time finding.

I have learned that the people closest to you may not support you in the way you think they should and it doesn’t mean that they do not support you.  You have to communicate what you expect if it is something different than what they are giving.  I do not have the benefit of having a significant other in my life that I can lean my head on their shoulder and expect a hug when I’ve had a stressful day or to look forward to telling them my achievements when something great happens.

I have a lot of wonderful friends that I can share many things with, however, most of the closest ones are married, have their own lives, and are raising children that I cannot wait until I one day will be able to have.  In my eyes they are a success.  Maybe not all of them are financially successful by my personal goals yet, but in relationships most certainly.

Facing My Fears

I have found that whenever something is bothering me I have to confront my dis-ease and release it or else I will internalize it and it will manifest into a disease or other physical ailment.  The easiest and best way for me in most scenarios it to write about it.  I still do not like verbal confrontation with anyone that I may have an issue with, although I find it much easier now than I did 10+ years ago and it seems to be much less frequent than even just a few years ago.  Writing for me is an outlet that allows me to create my thoughts in a thorough manner without interruption from anyone else or giving them an opportunity to twist the words against me in an argument or debate (which I severely dislike).

I do not seem to mind being an open book and sharing information about my life.  I think I have led a rather interesting one so far and lately, on more than one occasion, I’ve been told I should write a book.  It’s on my Bucket List of things to do now.  I’m not 100% sure what I want to write about specifically yet.  If anyone has any best-seller suggestions please let me know. ;)  I’m am sure that whatever I do end up writing about it will include many of the little adventures of my life.

It’s funny to me to think that as a teenager I was much more private about my life and rarely would have a phone conversation without  going into my room for privacy, even if it was just one of my girlfriends for a quick call.  Now, within reason, I and nearly everyone I see seems to have all kinds of random conversations in plain view for all of our friends to see and we have them on social media networks like Facebook and Twitter.  It’s more than entertainment, it’s people looking for praise when they’ve done something they are proud of, support when they are feeling down or challenged, feeling wanted when they are lonely, asking for advice on something, promoting and soliciting business, and connecting with others to get new ideas for projects they are working on.

The Results

My outcome is not finished yet when dealing with this current situation I am in, however I am dealing with it.  I’m finally facing the challenge of the fear I have before me.  I am working on a solution – even if it isn’t an easy one or one that meets all my wishes.  My close friends and family now know what I am going through and are morally supportive.  Rather than asking me to participate in something I cannot do right now, they are offering ideas or advice to see if any of it will help me out.  Since I live alone, hundreds of miles away from any family members or most of my closest friends, I need that sort of moral support and to feel connected to someone.  It lets me know that they care even if they cannot make what I am going through go away.  I think it is important for us all to feel supported, connected, and that we are loved – that we make a difference being here in this life to someone.

When dealing with fears there are several things I have learned:

• The fastest way to make any fear vanish is to experience it fully.
• To overcome your fear, you deal with what emerges and put attention on it.
• Nothing has any power over you, except the power you give it.
• Fear can cause people to hesitate and/or stop in their tracks.
• More is learned in pain (facing your fears) than in pleasure.
• Better late than never.
• If there is no risk, there are no goodies (i.e. euphoria of overcoming the fear and any other benefits it may bring).
• Anger is a fear that the offense will occur again.
• In order for things to change, you must change (you have to do something different to get past that first step of facing your fear).

Much of this wisdom I have learned has been through the many self-development courses I have taken.  One that I highly recommend from one of my mentors, Marshall Sylver, is his two-day event called Turning Point.  It is a great beginning for anyone to learn how to overcome their fears, understanding the types of communication for better relationships, learning the art of persuasion and influence (a great skill for anyone, not just for salespeople), and the skills of subconscious reprogramming so you can achieve anything you set your mind to.  I believe that I even have a few discounted or free tickets available for someone that is serious about attending (a $2000 value).  Contact me for more details.

If going to seminars is not your style and you can only commit yourself to reading books, there are several books for inspiration – many of which I recommend are in the carousel at the bottom of this webpage.  The number one foundational book that nearly all speakers I have ever heard reference to is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.

Thank you for being here with me as I go through this personally challenging time.  I hope that you will come back again to see how I progress.  To stay automatically updated on new posts that I publish, be sure to sign up for the RSS feed (click the little orange icon in the right sidebar above the heading Recent Posts).  Please explore some other pages on the site and help support me further by clicking on any of the links that may interest you and also by sharing this site with others.  If you have a suggestion for me, a subject you would like me to write about or information to share, please click on the suggestion tab near the top left side of the screen.  Remember to leave comments too on any page or post where comments are enabled.  Let me know you are out there, reading this, and if any of it is useful to you.  And finally, if you are on Facebook, please join my group Studio di Mare to connect with me and others that share passions, information, creativity, and adventures.

This anti-litter campaign began once I was inspired by my German Shepherd puppy, Lulu, whom I rescued from a woman that found her at 8 months old, in good health, but a little skinny. She had been dumped off in a very rural neighborhood on the edge of the Everglades, probably by someone who lost their home during the current economic challenges many have been facing and could no longer keep her. Lulu is a beautiful, pure bred, well behaved, and very sweet puppy. I have no doubt that who ever had to let her go has suffered greatly. She brings me such joy, especially at a particularly tough time in my own life.

We take walks throughout our low income neighborhood everyday and after a few weeks I couldn’t stand noticing all the litter on the ground that comes from the children at the nearby school, people that walk through the neighborhood and do not respect the Earth, and the local garbage men that do not pick up the items that fall out of the truck on collection days. So, because of my walks with Lulu, I started collecting trash everyday which has further inspired ideas and this campaign.

Lulu modeling her dogshirt. (It's not easy to take her picture with her back to me.)

During the week we pick up at least one, usually two, grocery store plastic bags full during our morning and afternoon walks. On the weekends when I do not have to go to my day job at the office, I like to take Lulu for a drive to the beach and then we walk along the beach boardwalk collecting trash there too, enjoying the peace and tranquility that I get from being near the ocean.

What I’m about to share with you now is going to reveal one of my biggest fears that I have been facing lately. I was raised to be a very strong and independent woman out of necessity. I have a very strong work ethic and I always enjoy giving help to others, even before myself. I’ve received minimal assistance in the past and made some drastic sacrifices that some would never have the guts to consider. I did not come from a family with money and I put myself through an expensive, four year degree at a private college by attending full time and working sometimes up to four jobs at once just to pay for tuition, rent, and other necessities. Over the years after college, I continued to work hard, sometimes two or three jobs at a time, just to make my way… barely.

I established great credit, earned a respectable reputation among people I know, and after many sacrifices I started to discover who I really am. I stopped being the uncertain, low self-esteem, quiet girl that I once was. I no longer “settle” for anything less than what I really want. Sure, I’ve slipped a few times, who hasn’t? Every time that I recognize that I “settled” for anything less than what I really wanted, I realize why I was unhappy in that situation – from relationships, to jobs, to the perfect home or neighborhood, or allowing bad personal habits get in the way of being a better person. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with settling for less. Sometimes it is necessary in order to pause, catch your breath, and collect yourself together before moving on up the mountain.

I now only surround myself with positive people as much as I can, take every opportunity that comes my way for learning, and have submerged myself into practicing only good habits that will improve my situation and teach others. I love what I do (outside of my day job) and I love who I have become.

After years of barely getting by, making a huge change in life to break from my monotony, I purchased my first home during a seller’s market. I also began my discovery of who I am, taking some big risks. In doing so, I ran up my credit beyond manageable, believing that I will soon make something of myself to pay it all back. I still have faith in this belief, however, during these tough economic times, I am now suffering like so many others, that I too run the risk of losing my home that I’ve worked so hard for. I know have not “made” it yet and sometimes it puts a little doubt demon on my shoulder whispering things in my ear like, “If you can’t show your net worth to others by doing what you love and being Ms. Positive all of the time, what makes you so sure you are qualified to inspire others or teach them anything about how to follow their dreams and be successful?”

It’s really tough to get through those thoughts some days, especially when so many other things start piling up at once besides the bills. That’s why I am so thankful for my positive, like-minded friends that know what to say at just the right time to help me out. Ha! many times they don’t even realize it because they are not talking to me one on one or even know what is going on with me at the time (see example here).  I really do not like to show weakness in myself. I very stubbornly do a lot by myself and rarely ask for help unless I know for certain that I am physically unable to manage whatever I am tackling alone.

I absolutely have not given up and never will, as I know what my passions are and firmly believe when you do what you love, the money will follow. Until then, I am working with my creditors, tightening up another notch on my financial belt, and talking to the bank about my mortgage to see if any of them will help me out. Not wanting to charge anything off because I am still very stubborn and have a very strong sense of responsibility that since I incurred my debt, I must therefore pay it back. I do not want to be another statistic that has added to the debt write-offs of our country and add to another of the reasons of the recession that so many has been experiencing.

So one of my biggest fears, that I have just shared with you and really had to swallow my pride and get over my denial, is the possibility of losing everything that I have worked so hard all my life for and ruining my credit (and credibility? ~ there’s that demon again, GO AWAY!). I’m not asking for handouts but rather assistance. As the old proverb goes, “Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.” I’ve been learning to fish from some master anglers and I am fishing right now. I just haven’t caught anything yet.  I will.

When you purchase something from my shop, the proceeds from the sales on my CafePress site (and through the affiliate advertising and several other programs on this site), you assist to help me get back on my financial feet and to continue pay for my currently upside down mortgage, purchase dog food for Lulu (and cat food for her two cat friends at home, one who is also a rescue) and other essentials for me, Lulu, the kitties (Calvin & Splash), and a friend that sometimes stays with me who is also suffering financially. By your support of purchasing products, you too will be spreading the message to hopefully encourage more involvement in anti-litter efforts in your own communities. Then, as a whole, we can all make the Earth a cleaner, more beautiful place for us all to live.

With your assistance and once I’m out of the red, Lulu and I plan to donate all the proceeds from the “Leave Only Your Footprints” campaign to other environmental organizations like the Wyland Foundation and animal care organizations such as the Big Cat Rescue or a local no-kill animal shelter.

Thank you in advance for your support. Following are several links that I have uncovered related to credit and financial assistance that may be a help to some of you that are reading this.  If you can think of any others, please leave a comment so that I can add to the list.  (If you are reading this from my Notes in Facebook, please go to my website to post your comments.  Thanks!)

Yours in peace,
Smiles, Lulu, Calvin, & Splash

(PEACE = Positive Energy Always Creates Enlightenment)

Credit Karma

Quizzle

Angel Food Ministries

Kiva

Prosper

Lending Club

Novadebt Credit Counseling

U.S. Dept. of Housing & Urban Development

For this list I’m going to start of with several that I know I have accomplished and others that I plan to or simply dream to, maybe, one day accomplish.  Some are more important dreams to me than others and some are just quick thoughts. I’ll add to this list anytime I think of something new I want to do. Life gives me the freedom of choice to change my mind or add on at any time.

Should I consider myself a failure if I do not complete them all?  No.  This is a dream sheet.  Something to give me hope, to look forward to, and a way of keeping score of accomplishments that I can look back on to see how far I’ve come.  As you read my list I encourage you to create a Bucket List of your own.  Get creative.  Allow yourself to be artistic, silly, adventurous, romantic, charitable, practical, and daring.  Challenge yourself.  Step outside of your comfort zone, if you dare.  Make it public or keep it private to only yourself, it doesn’t matter.   There’s a site that I found, Dream Cockpit, where you can create very specific dream goals in a online community format that you can share or keep private.  Just allow yourself to dream.  You might surprize yourself at how just that first step, putting intention into your thoughts, can create the opportunities you may have previously denied yourself or told yourself that it is something you can never do (even when you secretly want to).

Meet, fall in love, and marry the man that will be my best friend.
Give birth to at least one child.
Speak fluent Italian.
Learn to play the piano.
Restore my grandmother’s piano from the early 1900s.
Learn kite-surfing.
Fly in a helicopter.

I missed the helicopter over to Necker but my pilot let me fly the plane.

Fly a plane.
Get my pilot’s license.
Go on a road trip across the USA.
Drive all along the Pacific Coast Highway, stopping to visit different parts of the wine country.
Ride on a tandem bike.
Go surfing.
Go water skiing.
Go snow skiing.
Travel by train.
Go sailing in the Mediterranean.
Live on a yacht.
Own a home on the beach or the Intercoastal.
Own a home in St. Barth’s.
Own a home in Italy.
Write a book.
Go ziplining.
Go white-water rafting.
Fly in a wingsuit (BASE Jumping) - Man Can Fly!
Go bungee jumping.
Go to the Eiffel Tower.
Go to the Louvre.
Spend New Year’s Eve in Rome.
Spend New Year’s Eve in New York City.
Visit the Vatican.
See the Coliseum.
Horseback riding on the beach.
Get airborne in a vehicle (on purpose) and land safely.

You'd be surprised how many times I did this for the shot.

Learn stunt car driving.
Go cave diving.
Go sky-diving.
Go ice skating in Central Park.
Take a romantic carriage ride through the park.
See a Broadway play.
See Billy Joel in concert.
Meet Sir Richard Branson.
Ride in a hot-air balloon.
Fly into space on a Virgin Galactic flight.
Vacation on Necker Island.
Go to Italy.
See Michaelangelo’s David.
Go to the Caribbean by yacht.
Visit the Las Vegas strip.
See a live Cirque du Soleil show.
Pet a Siberian tiger.
Swim with dolphins.
Stand under a waterfall.

standing in the waterfall, what a great massage!

Become a millionaire.
Visit a castle.
Create a successful online artist network.
Be a successful real estate investor.
Quit my day job & work only for myself.
Own the home that was built by my great-grandfather and restore it.
Raise a large sum of money ($100,000) for a charity.
Create a foundation for a worthwhile cause.
Drive a Jeep through the desert.
Eat fire.
Walk on a bed of broken glass with bare feet.
Walk on a bed of coals with bare feet.
Camp at the beach on St. John’s.
Spend the night on the beach watching the stars fall.
Hike up a mountain.
Hike the Appalachian Trail.
Watch the sunrise from a mountain top.

Sunrise from Cadillac Mountain, Acadia National Park, Maine

Recent add-ons that I thought were great from my friend’s list:
View the Northern Lights – Aurora Borealis
Cruise through Alaska
Sail around the world
Go on an African photo safari
Visit all 50 States

After recent adventures revisiting old interests:
Become a sought after, highly compensated model
Have my modeling images published in a nationally recognized magazine or catalog